My world is falling apart

I don't like to write much about negative things that usually happen to me because I've tried for a while to focus on the "good things" and "positive" ones, but lately is been a pain for me to try and keep my mind at peace. Since the last months of 2018 we have been struggling with some things, we lost our car and it was really sad because I know my husband really liked that car but the costs for making it work again were too high and almost as the same value of the car. So we started looking for a new one, we took several months to accomplish that because as we are "young" we don't have many opportunities to got a funding for it so we had to got two, one for the deposit and one for the rest of it. We did all this because le husband needed a car to keep his work at safe but we didn't imagine we were going to be really sorry few months later.

The Company were he worked for was supposed to be trying to hire him directly because since January of this year GM (General Motors) changed their supplier's contracts and make them hire their representatives directly and not through an outsourcing company, and my husband was hired that way. The Company that he represented was just making excuses all the time, it came to December when we were really worried because he won't be able to access into GM without being directly contracted and December came to an end and no response from the Company.

Meanwhile we made a short trip, a family trip my parents are too devoted to the Catholic church so we went to a nearby village to have my mom see "La Virgen de San Juan" and have a break from our life. It was everything ok until we were taking a walk on the church's nearby market place and my mom fell entering into a store, she's almost 80 year old and we got really scared for her. The next day when we were heading home and we were already on the city we had a car accident, yep in the new car.....fortunately we had an insurance so we called and they arrived to got the car to a workshop but since it was December 23 it was most likely they weren't going to work on it until January.

No story long, on the first week of January my husband went to work as always with an special permission from his contact on GM to work for that month until he get an actual response from his Company but on Friday the outsourcing called and asked him why was he working still?, we had no clue about what were they talking about and then they explained to us the Company ended his contract on December 31 and nobody told him. Yikes!

So we had money for only one month and no more, January is a really difficult month because there are no one hiring until late on February or perhaps until March. So we are kind of broke right now, we have got money from selling some of our personal belongings but no offers or jobs available for us. I had to stop going to the psychiatrist and stop taking my medicament too. My parents aren't making this easy as well, my dad offer to keep us until my husband finds a job, or me but it's getting really complicated.

My mom's health is really bad and also on January we learned she has to go trough surgery this year or else she's gonna die, which leave us without options because she also my die on the surgery so.....and she's making a big deal of it but I mean real big deal like she is supposed to eat well and has some restrictions on her diet but she doesn't follow the Doctor's indications. She also made my family think we don't do anything for her and she got help from her siblings to pay private medical attendance and stuff and everyone now has us as just a pair of looser who are just leaching from them or lazy assholes. She also asks for money even tough she know I don't have any but still she makes me feel uncomfortable every time she can. So we aren't getting a healthy amount of sleeping, we can't afford to be out of here, and we don't really know what to do.

We didn't pay this month fee on the car, we don't have any money left, I feel really bad most of the time, and I have been struggling with my depression and my anxiety and my fibromyalgia all this days and I don't even know what to do or how to deal with everything and there are days like today I just don't want to be here I wish to be someone else or disappear or I don't know......we don't have friends left and the only ones left can't help us, my family in law can't help us, my actually family can help us but don't care and don't want anyway.

So we are falling apart, my world is falling apart, and I got really disappointed on my "friends" they don't want to help us, they don't want to hear about us not being well, one of them actually told me she's tired of it not directly but something like "people gets tired of hearing over and over again you're not doing it well, and I mean I can understand it, you get tired of negativity" and I'm like "thanks is not like I'm trying to get out of this or something I'm just sitting here and being negative ....thanks". She also told me I'm better alone like I deserve to be alone and it's ok if everyone leaves me because for her "being alone worked to push her"....yeah but we are different people, nah she didn't care she kept telling me that until I told her "you're making me feel worst :/" and she still didn't get why she was making me feel worst.

And that's how my life's going right now.....