Why I can't move on?

It's been really awful ....I mean lately I can't be or feel "in peace" I dunno ...well actually I kind of know but what I mean is that I dunno really why I can't stop holding to my past. I even had weird dreams that convine things that can't leave my mind and stuff I saw on TV or somewhere on my daily life.....it's getting annoying.

Today I was supposed to enjoy the community day on pokemon go but I couldn't because whenever I'm at Tequis park I remember something horrible or sad or annoying about the time I was part of that sect named FEF (see I'm still upset about it). When we were at Morales Park I was remembering "David" and daydreaming about what should have been if he weren't an asshole and weren't my ex new acquisition as a "friend" and how we used to hang out with him to catch pokemon...why I can't just move on about that? He decided not to understand that I didn't want anyone know about my life or my relation or my marriage, he didn't want to talk or listen so why I still botter about it? just Why I can't let it go?.

Also why I'm still thinking about whay Brenda did to me on FEF or why does Marce told me we were friends but she betrayed me and why did she marry Litos and bla bla bla bla...and why I still want to do a video telling my "story" about abuse and that on that group when I'm mostly sure that I'm not able to even make a change with it cuz I don't have that thing youtubers have or people who tell their stories and their family and friends make the thing viral....I'm ignored most of the time.

And my mind is still attached to Andres I can't stop dreaming at least once a month with his family or with him or something related to him or my dream develops around his house sorounds...I'm just tired about all this shit.

I want to move on, I want to take control of my life I want to succeed on something ....and I'm not being able I know I have made changes but still isn't enough, my friends tell me to be patient that I've to take one step a time but I can't stop feeling like a looser, my biggest urgency right now is that I want to live on my own place, I want my own space.....and that's driving me crazy. And that leads to other little things that doesn't stop to sum.....I want to feel ok again, I started to feel anxious again and that pain I use to have above my eybrow bone....it's hurting me again, the sudden headaches and of course the insomnia.

I want really bad to talk to my therapist....